Where Is The Sun?
by farxaway
Summary: Story about a girl who is hiding in the shadows and hides the marks her father inflicts on her when he is drunk. She doubts her life will ever turn around. Will the sun rise over her dark life?
1. Chapter 1

I was always the girl who was left in the shadows. No one noticed me, Tessa. I was the freak of the school.

You see I have grown up with an alcohol addicted father. The alcohol usage came with bruises. I was being abused by my father mostly every day. He was never like this when my mother was still breathing.

At school, I was known as the punching bag for verbal abuse and mocking. I achieved in school but this didn't help my status to upgrade. Instead it created more words to make me feel like an outsider.

No one understood me or cared about me. And I learned to create a bubble around me. But even that imaginary bubble can't keep out those hurtful words. In spite of this, I keep on living. My life may never get easier, and I doubt it ever will.

It was the Monday of October 19th. I was walking the halls of the school I despised. I was counting down every second that I had left until freedom. Not only to leave my school, but to be free of the hell I lived at home.

On my way to my first period class, I got the breath knocked out of me. Someone collided into me with increasing force. When I looked up I saw him. It was the king of the school, Jake West. He had all the girls drooling over him. Well, not all.

"Uhm, I'm s-sooo sorry" I managed to say.

"Yeah well next time watch where you walk." He said.

Then he walked off. With being, the king of the school also came with being a major jerk.

At lunch, I ate away from my peers. I felt it was my only time to get a little peace in my day. I always had the same lunch every day, an apple. With all the alcohol my dad buys we don't have enough to buy a loaf of bread.

My dad changed for the worst when my mom died when I was twelve. He dealt with it with his own personal therapist, alcohol. With his heavy drinking, he changed. He became lazy and could barely afford the apartment we rented.

When my father lost his job, two years ago, he started to take his anger out on me. He drank more and more. The first night he laid a hand on me causing a bruise, my life changed. Now, I felt like I could never love someone or be loved without being hurt in the end. My father left me scarred for life.

By the end of the day, I received about a dozen mocks and a few stares. I never acted or dressed like my fellow classmates. I wore heavy clothing to cover the evidence about my dad's "loving treatment". And I was the loner in school who never spoke a word to others. I knew nothing would ever change as I grew older.

But, I still dream of a day when someone would rescue me from my life. And make the sun rise over my dark life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Two months have passed. Things have changed. I wake up every morning to a bed I may never get used to. I stare at a ceiling that has not set in my memory yet. I live in a house that I hardly recognize.

You see about a month ago, my father went too far. After getting wasted for the infinite time, he abused me to the point where I couldn't take another hint of pain. My father threw me down the stairs. And I woke up in the hospital the next day with a cast around my leg.

My father had been put behind bars. The only place I had to turn to was my mother's sister, Aunt Kristy. We were never close but she was the only relative willing to take me.

So here I live in the home that I would stay until the end of my high school years. With moving in with my aunt, I was forced to move to her hometown, Vineland, Ohio. This meant a new school I was made to attend.

Now, there would be new eyes that would be fixed on me. New mouths with disgusting words that I would have to hear and to live through.

New tears would drown out my hazel eyes. Pain would rule my life. Nothing would be different. The only thing that will change is the fear of coming home every day to a parent who eyes are always bloodshot red. This was the only comfort I felt.

School started in a week. And today, the bandages that covered my broken leg would be removed.

It was the day I started my new journey as a junior at Vineland High School. Winter Break was just ending. I came early that day with only the teachers cars in the lot. I entered the school's halls with my head hung low. My eyes were locked on the ground. I glanced up a few times to find my way to the office.

Once I got my schedule, I was escorted to my homeroom by the assistant principal, Mr. Colton. I entered the room of thirty of my fellow eleventh graders. No one noticed I was there, until my new homeroom teacher, Mrs. Ryans, introduced me.

"Class, this is our new student Tessa Bronson," announced the teacher.

"Hello," I said plainly.

I was placed next to girls whose hairs had been dyed a tad too much. I didn't bother to check out my classmates I knew they would all be the same as my old peers. And I knew if I lifted my head and let my eyes wander, there would be eyes looking me up and down. My high school social status had already been set in stone.

When it was time to eat lunch, I hadn't said a single word to another individual. I barely made eye contact with them. No one wanted to be my friend. I could see that.

I found a nice tree with a patch of shade hidden underneath its leaves. I sat there and enjoyed my packed food.

After nibbling on pieces of my sandwich, I sat there listening to the whisper of the wind and the singing of the birds. I could stay like that as silent as I was just listening to nature's personal music.

Just then, my tranquility was disrupted by an oval pigskin hitting my head directly. I heard footsteps trotting in my direction. I was about to escape the scene, when a green eyed boy arrived at my eating spot. He picked up his ball, and stared at me. I guessed he noticed I was the new girl in town.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Uhm, sorry about hitting you in the head," said the green eyed boy.

I just looked down, away from his eyes, and nodded.

He didn't say anything else at the moment. So, I just walked off. I didn't glance up to see his reaction. To be honest, I could care less what he thought.

When I got home, I was alone. My aunt would return home around eight. I decided to get my homework over with. That didn't take as much time then I wanted.

I decided to go to bed early.

The next morning, the smell of blueberry waffles wafted in the air. I ate in silence as I sat across from my mother's sister. We barely ever shared words.

I arrived at school at seven thirty. Other students were socializing wit one another, while I walked right by them with my bubble surrounding me.

That's when I heard a preppy girl comment on my clothes. Then, a roar of laughter followed.

I could feel the rain drops about to pour out of my cloudy eyes. But I held the rain in. I wasn't going to show my pain to them. It wasn't worth the tears.

I continued my walk to my homeroom.

When I entered the doorway, I found the green eyed boy in the class. Why hadn't I noticed him before? The boy was too engulfed in a conversation with two other boys to notice me.

I took my seat as the teacher took attendance. I just stared off into space. I was in my own little world, when I was shaken back into reality.

The boy with the green orbs was staring at me. I noticed that we were the only students in the room. I missed the bell.

I was about to run to first period, history, but the boy was blocking my way. This time I couldn't just nod.

"Excuse me," I said as I tried to push my way pass him.

"What afraid to be late," said the boy.

I finally got passed him and made my way to my class.

Time flew, and lunch arrived. I ventured back to the spot I had found yesterday.

I sat down and gobbled down the homemade meal. Then he appeared from behind the tree.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He just had a smile planted on his face. I proceeded to eat my sandwich, while he stood there motionless. And then he spoke.

"Why are you eating all by yourself?" he said.

I didn't move a muscle. I was trying to pretend I was the only one there. That didn't work out too well.

I got up from my spot, and started to flee the area. But something hooked my arm and I retracted back. The boy had his hand around my arm. I didn't like him or anyone touching me.

"Get off of me," I spit out as I tried to get free of his grasp.

"Not until you tell me why you keep running away," he said.

Again and again I tried my hardest to wiggle free from his lock on me. I was becoming less comfortable by each ticking second.

"Please, let go," I begged.

I guess he could see the water in my eyes because he eventually released his grasp. I ran away. I ran to the bathroom while everyone else ate their lunches with their friends.

I locked myself in a stall. Then, I let the tears fall one by one, until it became a sob. I didn't really understand why I was crying. The boy didn't hurt me. It was just that it brought back the hell I lived less than three months ago.

My scars weren't healed, but they won't ever heal. They are permanent and will last for eternity. My life's sun was an eclipse. No light would ever shine through. Everything was dark.

After, I wiped the last tears; I marched to my locker and prepared for fifth period. This was one of my favorite subjects, English. When I read Shakespeare, I got lost in reality. All the pain and suffering seem to be set in the back of my head when I opened a book. I guess fantasy is better than reality!

I was shown to my seat by the teacher. I was the first to get to class. Seconds later, the other pupils entered class. One caught my eye.

The green eyed boy was in this class. My head shot immediately down, my eyes staring at my books. Then I heard the seat next to me scratch on the floor. I glanced up. Today wasn't my day. There he sat the boy who somehow caused me to cry just an hour ago.

He was staring at me with such intent. I looked away and began to do the assignments the teacher had posted on the board.

A few minutes into class, I felt a smooth object hit me. I winced for some reason. And when I looked to see the object, I found a folded up paper. I wasn't about to open it. But the boy pushed it closer to my arm.

I finally picked up the paper. It read, _Are you okay?_

I was about to throw away the paper when he handed me a pen. This was never going to end. I replied _What do you mean._

He replied fast with, _You looked like you were going to cry at lunch, what happened. _

Why did this boy want to bother with me? Couldn't he just go off with his jock friends and butt out of my life?

I didn't reply back. I continued my work and tried to focus. Then I felt another object hit me. Yet again, it was a paper saying,_ You really don't like to share! Anyway, I forgot we haven't been properly introduced. I am Nathan Scott. _

I never wrote back. After finishing my assignments, I was consumed with questions. Why did this boy keep appearing in my life? Why does he even care if I cry? Why doesn't he just stay out and leave me alone?

Then, the bell rang interrupting my trance of thought. The rest of the day blew by.

I was about to start my walk home, when Nathan was staring at me and standing in my way. I walked around him.

"Is there a reason you're so quiet?" said a voice behind me.

"Leave me alone, Nathan Scott," I said as I pronounced his name for the first time aloud.

The footsteps behind me didn't go away. Nathan wasn't going to stop this. So I had to try to end this.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I rotated my body around to face him. But he was closer to me than I noticed. Instantly, I was on the ground with blood oozing out of my knee.

It hurt to get up. I limped over to a nearby bench. I rested my injured knee on the sitting area. I pulled a napkin out of my pocket and began to wipe my knee clean of the crimson liquid.

"I'm sorry," said Nathan, who just arrived at my side.

"Yeah, well maybe if you just left me alone I wouldn't be here" I exclaimed.

He stood there for a moment. Then, he walked away. I was surprised by this, but happy.

After ten more minutes, I started to limp home. I noticed a blue jeep was following me.

When I looked at the driver, I recognized the green orbs. I decided to stop to see what he possibly could want.

"Get in," he said firmly.

"No," I replied. I continued to walk home with out looking back at the jeep. The engine never died and never changed course.

Why didn't he get it? This was a puzzling question that I, myself, couldn't solve.

While lost in my thought, I didn't notice a big hump in the sidewalk, due to construction. This again led me to fall. And the blood flooded out of the same knee.

His car door slammed and he rushed over to me. "You are the clumsiest person I know," said Nathan.

I just scoffed. Then, out of nowhere, he picked me up in his arms.

"What are you doing," I asked.

"Giving you a ride," he said.

Before I could reply, I was placed in my seat with my seatbelt unbuckled. I sighed. I gave up.

The engine started, and I showed him the way to my house.

After telling the route to my house, he started asking questions. Some he had asked earlier in the week. And like before I didn't answer a single one.

Five minutes passed and the familiar, yet unfamiliar house appeared. I opened the car door and headed to the house's doorway.

Before he left, I yelled, "Thanks." I could see the smile on his face. His good deed was done for the day. Hopefully, now he was done with me. But for some reason that didn't sound as good to me as it once did. I washed that feeling away as soon as I entered the door.

After doing my work and eating my dinner, I ran to my room to catch up on some sleep.

But, I couldn't sleep. The same questions engulfed my thoughts. Why did he give a crap about me? Will he ever stop this shenanigan? I sure hoped do, but there was that little voice in my head saying that is the exact opposite of what I desired.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next day my eyes fluttered open to a dark cloudy day. Rain was drenching every area outside. I could already feel that my day was going to get worse.

Aunt Kristy left early that day. I ate my cereal alone in peace. In the midst of cleaning my bowl, I heard a repetition of knock at the door. No one ever visited this house.

When I peeped through the nearby window, I saw an impatient Nathan Scott. I decided to pretend he wasn't there. He didn't move an inch. And like the day before I gave in.

When he became visible, he had a smile plastered on his face. His caramel hair was hiding his left eyes, until he brushed it away.

"What are you doing here," I put out plainly.

"I thought you would need a ride because of the weather," he explained.

"I have an umbrella," I said.

"Just please let me give you a ride," he almost begged.

This was aggravating. "Let me get changed," I finally said.

After throwing on my "ugly" clothes, I walked to the jeep. Surprisingly, he opened the door for me. "Thanks," I muttered.

We sat in silence. This was different. He was usually spitting out questions left and right. But I was itching to ask one of my own this time.

"Why are you doing this," I said.

"And that is what exactly," he asked confused.

Why was he so blind? "This. Being nice to me. Helping me out. I don't need help. Are you just helping the freak out to gain attention? Well, you cans stop it. I don't need another person giving my life hell. I have had enough of it in my years. You don't know anything about what I've been through. And don't feel bad for me. I don't need you or anyone else's pity. So for the last time, please leave me alone," I finished breathless.

I felt tears leaking out of my moist eyes. I turned to the window of the jeep and just stared out it. I did this to keep my eyes from looking at his expression.

Not another word was said. We arrived to school soon after. I rushed out of the car. Running to class.

While on my race to class, I heard a comment. "Nice clothes freak," said some stuck-up cheerleader. Laughs followed this.

The tears started to pour out. I turned my head so no one would see them. While running, I crashed into a boy who I didn't want to deal with. I was on the floor crying my eyes out. My scars were reopening. Becoming Wider than before. I must've looked pathetic because more laughter up roared. My hell had returned.

Nathan just stared at me with a sad look in his green eyes. His pity for me had shown through. I picked myself and ran to a janitor's closet.

I let myself sulk. The tears couldn't be bottled up today. I would just have to let them fall willingly.

I was late for first period. I didn't care. People just stared at me with a grin stretched from ear to ear. I got yelled at by the teacher. I couldn't concentrate in any of my morning classes.

Lunch came and went. I ate in the bathroom incase Nathan would be at my spot. And also because I wanted to eat in a silent place where no one could hear my sobs.

By the end of the day I skipped last period and went home early. I couldn't be in that nightmare of a school another second.

I ran to my bedroom and let the last of my tears of that day fall without obstruction. My eyes were puffy and my cheeks were stained. I looked a mess. But who cares right.

My life was never this way when my mother was alive. She died of breast cancer four years ago. She was my best friend, my loving mother, and my idol. She was beautiful and kind. I loved her. So did my father, but he couldn't live his life without her.

I cried for hours more. Until I fell asleep with my sorrows. That night I dreamt of when my life was peaceful. I dreamt of life when my mother wasn't sick and still breathing. I woke up the next morning with a smile on my lips. My life would never be like that again. I was stuck in this reality.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was the end of the school week. And I was sure glad. Ever since my breakdown, I was the silent girl. I decided it was better to not say a word.

I hadn't bumped into Nathan since either except for English class. And I changed my seat so I wouldn't feel awkward. That's what I thought was best. But the whole time he had been absent, a part of me wanted to take a chance with him.

But I wasn't the risk taker right now.

I entered school that morning with my hands woven around my torso. I looked at the floor and never took my eye off it for a second. I retrieved my books and walked to my homeroom. When I entered, I was one of the early arrivers.

There were two other students in the room when I came in. One was a book worm, Holly Thomas. And the other was the boy I couldn't afford to take a risk on. I knew no one else was going to arrive for another five minutes or so.

I could feel Nathan's fierce green orbs concentrating on my very presence. I tired not to glance back at him, but my eyes seemed to have a mind of their own. I tried to focus on the clock or the words on the chalkboard. But none of these things were the distraction I needed. Why did he have this affect on me? I told myself to forget about Nathan Scott over and over again.

But all I could see was his distinctive eyes in my thoughts. Every time they popped into my head I would try to shake them out, but nothing worked.

Finally a crowd of jocks and preps entered the classroom. A sigh of relief escaped my thin lips. I had to work harder at forgetting about him.

All throughout my morning lessons, I didn't speak a word. No one seemed to notice me when I did this. I decided that the bathroom had been occupied by me enough during lunch so I decided to return back to my outside dining spot.

When I arrived, I saw a figure sitting in my spot. I could recognize that silhouette anywhere.

I quickly turned away thinking I could go unseen. "Tessa, wait up," said Nathan.

I just kept walking not looking back. All I heard was Nathan yelling my name. He was getting closer. And of course with my bad luck, I wound up on the ground because of my clumsy feet.

Two hands grabbed my wrist without a word. I was then hoisted up. I dusted myself off. He was always there when I fell.

"Can we talk?" pleaded Nathan

"There is nothing to talk about." I replied.

He searched for words for a minute. "Listen, I know you want me to leave you alone. You have made that clear several times, but I want to be your friend."

"Why would you want to be friends with a freak?" I questioned.

"First of all stop calling yourself a freak. You are far from that. Don't listen to those lowlifes. Second, I want to be friends because." He paused. "Because I really don't know."

"First of all," I mocked, "I am a freak and those lowlifes are right. And second, please stop trying to be my friend or whatever you're doing. You said it yourself you don't even know why you would want to be my friend. So stop trying to make up fake excuses and go back to your friends, the lowlifes." When I finished, I marched to the bathroom for yet another day eating in the stalls.

I then heard the bathroom doors open. A knock was put upon my stall. "Occupied," was all I said.

"I'm not here to use this, we still need to talk." said Nathan.

"Get out of the bathroom, Nathan," I said loud enough so he could hear.

"No, first I want to know why you keep trying to push me away and why you won't even try to be friends with me," he said.

"Because I don't want any friends, especially ones that don't leave when they're not wanted," I put out coldly.

"Why are you so determined to be the lone wolf of the school?" he questioned.

"Do you listen at all? I. Do. Not. Want. Friends!" I exclaimed. "And stop pretending like you want to be my friend. I know what you're really doing. Trying to make a joke out of this. You're doing it to gain attention for your image. What makes you different from those other people who have made my life a river of tears? What makes you think you can just use me as a play toy? Well, I'm not going to be used for your own amusement. So please, for the last time leave me alone and pretend I don't exist just like everyone else."

I pushed the stall open and ran out of the bathroom. I promised myself that I would just ignore Nathan from now on. No more green eyes wandering in my head. No more questioning it. My mind was set.

Or so I thought


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I woke up on that Saturday morning with a yawn. I slept dreamlessly.

When I went downstairs, I was surprised to see my aunt making breakfast for me. She made scrambled eggs with toast on the side.

During eating, my aunt and I had our first real conversation since I got here.

"So how is school for you?" said Aunt Kristy.

"I guess good, how is work going?" I replied.

"Too busy," she said with a smile. Then she continued, "I know we haven't spent a lot of time together, so I was thinking maybe we could have an aunt and niece day."

Well I couldn't say no. I told her it was a great idea whether I wanted to or not.

First we went to the movies. She picked out a comedy. But it wasn't that hilarious.

Then she wanted to go shopping, so we journeyed to the Vineland Shopping Mall. I really didn't want to go because of my peers would most likely be there. Yet, I couldn't refuse.

Aunt Kristy made me try on about fifty things from each store. I sighed each time. I didn't deserve to wear some of the things she as made me try on. I was destined to be clothed with my raggedy, ugly clothes.

It was nearly 5 o'clock when we finally exited the shopping mall. We left with arms full of bags. They were all for my aunt. Somehow, I managed to persuade my aunt that I have enough clothes.

We grabbed a bite at town diner. We sat there in silence for a while. "So have you made any new friends?" asked my aunt.

"Uhm, no, not really," I said.

"Oh okay, well I am sure you will soon. It was only your first week," she said with a grin. Boy was she wrong!

We got our desserts and ate peacefully. We came home around seven.

I went straight up to my room. Today wasn't the day I had planned. But it was something.

I then looked on the calendar and noticed the date. It was the January 6. My birthday was in two days. I would be soon 17. A smile slyly formed on my face. Then it disappeared. I had to spend my birthday at the school that disgusted me.

I went to sleep that night early. I was never the late night person. I guess since I was so scared of my father coming home late drunk ready to cause me pain. I would always try to sleep before that monstrosity could happen.

That night I had a very plain and yet unique dream. Nathan's eyes entered to my subconscious mind. His eyes were trapped in my head and in my dreams.

I never left my room that day. I wasn't all to hungry. I just sat on my full size bed thinking. My thoughts went in all different directions. Most of them were about my dream and Nathan. I tried not to think of his eyes and him. I guess I didn't try hard enough. My aunt was away the whole day at work.

My thoughts kept me occupied. And soon enough it was nine at night. I closed my eyes and let my subconscious mind take over.

_**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so plain but don't worry something is going to change soon. Maybe sooner than you think .I just needed a few non-exciting chapters to build up the story a bit. I hope all of you readers like it so far. By all the reviews it seems you do. And I want to thank you all for even reading, it makes me want to write more. Like I said stay tuned. You never know what's around the corner. **_

_**-Shannon aka disguisedwriter**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I woke up to the clanging of the pans being washed in the kitchen sink. But I also woke up to a 17 year old Tessa.

For my birthday, my aunt prepared a special breakfast. She made my favorites, blueberry waffles and a chocolate muffin to go with. My aunt gave me two presents. One was a cute shirt we saw at the mall. She must have snuck that in with her purchases. Another was just money, one hundred dollars to exact. I told her she shouldn't have and thanked her.

My legs walked me to school. My light brown hair was held up by a ponytail. I decided to wear my new shirt to school. But only for my aunt's sake.

I got to homeroom on time. I didn't bother to look around. I just kept to myself and waited for the teacher to take attendance.

When the teacher said his name, my eyes were impossible to stop from scanning around the room. There he was sitting with his caramel hair in a mess. He just raised his hand to signal his being there. My eyes then jolted back to focusing on the front of the room. I had to stop that.

When the teacher got to my name, I said here. Before going to the next name, she paused and looked down at the roll call sheet. "Happy birthday Tessa," she said plainly and then continued down the list.

I felt people were staring at me like I wasn't allowed to have a birthday.

History blew by as well did the other classes. I was hoping that Nathan had finally retrieved my message about leaving me be because I wanted my spot. I guess my birthday wish came true.

When I arrived, no one was there. I let out a sigh of relief.

But that wish soon dissolved.

"Happy birthday Tessa!" said a voice.

This made me jump. Then the person with the voice stepped out from behind the tree. It was Nathan, of course. I just stared at him with the anger that consumed me. My one piece of alone time for the school day, and Nathan always interrupted in.

"Can we really talk?" he said.

I just shook my head.

"Then just listen. You asked me before why I wanted to develop a friendship with you. Well, I have a real answer this time. I can't stop thinking about you. You seem so interesting to me," he finished.

"What am I, some science experiment to you," I said back.

"Of course not, what I mean is that you're not like the other people walking in those halls. You're smart, stubborn, and different. But in a good way," he replied.

"Nathan..." I started.

"Before you say anything, I want to know why you intend on being a loner. Why don't you try being friends with me," he questioned.

"I can't share that with you. Let's just say it's hard for me," I said. I was surprised about the little bit of honesty I had just given Nathan.

I could tell by his expression he was starting to assume things. I let out a sigh. "Nathan, I am who I am for a reason. Things have happened to me that I can't change, but they have changed me."

He looked at me with an expression that confused me. He raised his arm to allow his hand to reach my face. His hand touched my gentle and fragile cheek. My head turned away.

I was the first to speak. "It's better if we are not friends or anything Nathan."

"I'm not giving up" he stated and then just walked away.

Somewhere deep inside me, I had a feeling that the green eyed boy was going to win in the end.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

All night I thought about Nathan's comment_, I am not giving up_. How was he going to call me stubborn? He's the one so determined to win me over. If he were to be successful, he would sure have to put a lot effort into it because this was something I didn't want. Or was it? I never really figured that out. I went over my options.

I could let him in. And destroy the wall I had spent a while building up around me. I could drop my guard and trust this stubborn boy. The battle would be over.

But what if I kept my ground and not giving up the war. I knew Nathan was a fighter. It would be a tough fight. I may loose in the end. And end up suffering. What would be the point in fighting?

I knew the answer to that. I didn't want to let that wall to be destroyed. I can't. But then I thought was it because I can't or because I won't. My scars weren't nearly healed. The pain still hurt. No sun was seen yet over my life. When was my sun going to rise?

I didn't know the answer to that. With that, I fell asleep with my thoughts in a jumble. My dreams were black and dark, resembling my life.

I slowly walked up to the schools doors. Before I could open them, Nathan Scott was there to show his manners. I rolled my eyes at his actions. He asked how my morning was. I was silent. He asked what I had for breakfast. I was silent yet again. He spit out every question in his head. But all of them were answerless.

When we got to homeroom, I heard him sigh. I smiled. I guess he saw that because I heard a little laugh come out of his mouth. I glared for a second and marched to my seat. He really was set to this plan on not leaving me alone. The next thing I knew was him sitting in the seat next to me.

"Don't you have friends to entertain," I spit out.

"So you have decided to be my friend," he said sarcastically.

"Hah. You're funny," I said coldly.

I sighed in anger. He laughed at my sighing. I then scoffed. He then smiled. So he thought that his torture was hilarious.

I asked to go to the bathroom just to get out of Nathan's view. I was granted my request.

I stayed in the bathroom until the bell went off to signal us to first period.

As every other day, my morning lessons seemed to breeze by. Lunch had arrived. When I went to my locker to get my lunch it wasn't there. Then, I remembered I forgot it on the kitchen counter. Dumb me.

I had two options. One, go foodless and starve for the rest of the day when I skipped breakfast. Or two, use the money I had in my pocket to buy food in the cafeteria I had never ventured into because of the fears that filled me. With my stomach gurgling, I knew my answer. Today I just had to be brave.

I walked down the halls and soon reached the door that hid the cafeteria. After a few deep breaths, I opened the door and walked in.

It was a jungle in there. Everyone was talking with extreme volume. Conversations happening in each separate cliques.

I quickly rushed into the lunch line. I was in between a jock, who needed a dose of deodorant, and a middle class looking girl. I soon got my lunch and paid. That's when a person obstructed my path out of the cafeteria.

"Look who it is the freak," said the girl in my way. "You've finally decided to step into the cafeteria. Where have you been eating the bathroom stalls or near the dumpsters?" she asked.

The tears entered my eyes. They were on the edge of falling out. While struggling to keep those tears in, the girl flipped my tray over. Causing all of my food to smear on me.

That was it. The water droplets fell one by one. Why did I come to the cafeteria in the first place? I should have known better.

At that second, I ran out of the cafeteria with my arm wrapped around me. My eyes were overfilling with tears. I ran to my only spot in the school that I may have a chance at peace with.

Of course! Nathan sat there. He then saw me with my eyes flowing with tears, and my shirt covered with food remnants. I started to run away.

Before long, two muscular arms wrapped around me. "Let go of me," I screamed.

I was then turned around. My head hung low with the tears streaming down. My chin was soon lifted. My eyes met those green eyes. I tried to fight to get out of his hold. Nothing worked.

So I forfeited. I just sobbed in his chest.

I let the pain out for about ten minutes. Every little thing seemed to hurt me. Every word, action, and stare. I was just this fragile girl who couldn't manage her emotions. I always showed my pain.

My eyes finally dried after the tenth minute. Nathan's arms never dropped. "I'm okay now," was all I said. But he never released his grip on me. This somewhat felt comfortable. I soon shook of that feeling.

"Nathan, please let go of me," I seemed to plead. And at last the cage he had me in had lifted. I was free. But I noticed I was still lost in his eyes. Those lush green eyes had me locked in place. So I dropped my head to release myself from this trap.

"I better go," I whispered with my eyes on the grass. He seemed to be frozen in time. He never answered back or moved.

I fled to the bathroom and started to drench my shirt to get the stains out. The water didn't help. I soon gave up and just stood there thinking.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I thought about my life would be today if there was never those memories imprinted in my life. I knew if I was the same person I was before I could've let Nathan in without a doubt. But right now I couldn't find the strength to accomplish this.

I wish I could give Nathan what he wanted from me. I wish we could just be friends and the whole shebang.

But those scars were my barriers. No doctor could stitch them back up. And yet I felt some were being stitched up slowly. This feeling left me baffled. Was this the work of Nathan? I had a feeling he had a part in it.

He had been there for me all this time. Even when I looked pathetic and weak. Even when I told him not to be there. Maybe I should take a risk in my life for once. But I still wasn't completely won over by this idea that formed in my head. Not yet, anyways.

________________________________________________________________________

The day went on. People talked. Whispers went down the halls. Laughs were shared. Looks were given. Comments were made. Every time this occurred on tear would fall.

Why couldn't I be strong? I had no self confidence. I always have felt frail and useless. These feelings had always held me back from sticking up for myself. And all I showed my tormenters was the pain I so wanted to hide. It never mattered how big or small a comment or infliction they put on me was. Hurt always showed through.

I walked home alone that day, in silence.

That night, my aunt and I ate spaghetti without a word out of both of us. After cleaning both of our plates, I rushed upstairs. And I followed my normal schedule of the night.

School was the same as any other day that day. But when I got to my eating spot, Nathan wasn't there. I smiled at my discovery. And yet I didn't want to have that smile on my face. I wanted him here bugging me. Arguing how I should be his friend. I wanted his comfort. I wanted to see those emerald eyes.

Then I thought wait, what am I saying? Did those thoughts actually run through my head? What does this mean? Confusion took over me at that moment.

The rest of the day I didn't see any sign of Nathan. Did I miss the teacher marking him absent this morning? And why did it matter if he was here or not?

I was bewildered to the fullest extent.

What was coming over me? My plan for life was to stay away from socializing. Not getting close to anyone. No friends. But there I was missing the only person who I had said more than three words since coming to Ohio.

I slept that night dreaming of the possibilities.

I entered homeroom with a smile that Wednesday morning because the first thing I saw was Nathan sitting there. With that smile, I realized that I had changed. Maybe for the bad or the good. But I did. It was all because of him. I hadn't smiled like that since the life of my dear my mother.

It may not have been a big change but it was something. Maybe I could be friends with Nathan. I would take a risk and let my wings spread.

At lunch, I found what I was looking for under my tree.

My guarded wall was about to be knocked down without a fight. Nathan would get his wish. I couldn't believe only a few days ago I would've despised this plan. But my eyes were now open to what could be and what could become.

I had to take the baby steps. My life may not ever recover from my past nightmares. But I had to try. I had to be the brave person.

I walked up with my head to the ground. "Hi," I said in the lightest voice possible.

"Hello," said Nathan a little louder.

"Uhmm, I have changed my mind," I finally said.

"About?" Nathan said almost puzzled.

"About you your request to be friends," I said with a sigh. I finally gave up the war. My soldiers couldn't fight anymore.

"Tessa," he said with a frown. Wait he frowned. I thought he would be ecstatic. "I can't do this anymore. I should've listened to you before. I'm really sorry for what I have put you through with my presence. You were right. I belong with those lowlifes. That is my place." He finished.

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. There was the boy I wanted to take a chance on. And he was just like everyone else. He used me. I was now hurt. Tears filled my eyes. How could I have been such a fool to think someone could actually care about me?

I just stared at him coldly letting him see the pain he had caused me. I could see by expression he could tell. I then ran away with the watery tears dripping down one by one.

At that moment, I had transformed back into the pathetic girl I was just a few days ago.

I didn't blame Nathan as much as I blamed myself for letting someone in just to get hurt. It always ended that way for me. I would never be the princess in the castle that gets rescued by the prince. I was locked in the castle for the rest of my wretched life.

_**A/N: sorry bout the lateness of this chapter but I was stuck on ideas. And I think this chapter turned out the way I wanted to. I think this story maybe longer than I thought. And I may create another story too. What do you think? And don't worry Nathan wont be out of the picture for long (:**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Two days had passes and it was now Friday. Nathan kept his word and stayed as far away from me as possible. He wasn't surprising me at the tree anymore. And we never conversed during the last few days.

I walked down the halls with a dark cloud over my head. I felt depressed. I almost knocked down my wall for what; someone who I thought cared a damn for me. How could I have I been so stupid? In life there comes mistakes, and I just have to lean from this one.

The cloud didn't go away over the weekend. I stationed myself in my room. Not leaving once, well only to go to the bathroom. My aunt worked most of the weekend so she didn't notice much. Why did this have to be my life? Why couldn't I have been one of the populars, like Nathan? Why did I have to be the victim? Why did my dad have to abuse me? Why did my mom have to die? All these questions ran through my head. I started to bawl at these unanswerable questions.

I did this all Saturday and Sunday. Late Sunday night I tried to think of the good I had in my life. I started to list things. I'm away from my father and with someone who cares for me. That made me smile a bit. But I couldn't think anything but that. No other happy things ran through my head. There was one small thought and that was Nathan. No, he wasn't a happy part of my life. Not anymore!

Monday I covered myself up with a hoodie and baggy sweatpants. I got ridicule for my attire. I just walked by not caring who said it. My head hung low the whole time. Where was my guardian angel? Who was my protector? That's right I don't have one.

History we were learning about Civil War. This reminded me of my "war" with Nathan. I shook my head making the thought fade away.

Lunch came around. I went to my tree. Then I saw a football coming my way. I just continued not bothering to see who picked it up. "Hi Tessa," said the familiar voice.

When I looked up, there he was. He was so angelic. I just nodded my head. I heard him sigh and then walk off. I finished my lunch then. English came around, the only class I had with Nathan. When I walked in, he was there small grin on his face as he gazed at me. What is he doing? I thought he was done with me.

I was glad he didn't decide to sit next to me so I let out a breath of relief. The whole class, Nathan kept his eyes focused on me. Why was he being like this? Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday he wasn't like this. I was so confused. I made up my own conclusion in my head. He wanted to use again. Well this time I wasn't going to fall for it. I promised myself this.

At the end of the day, I was walking home by myself, like usual. On my way to my house, I heard a car horn. And when I turned around I found a blue jeep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

He opened his car door, and his beautiful green eyes were glued to me. I decided to continue my way home but at a faster pace. I could hear him following me without his car. He was getting closer and closer. I couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you want," I said angrily.

"To talk," Nathan whispered.

"We've talked," I said and then I continued my stroll. But he stopped me.

I was pulled back, and I hit his chest pretty hard. "Ow," I mumbled.

"Please listen, I made a mistake," he expressed.

"Please just let me go," I said as I struggled to get free from his grasp.

"Will you listen to me and not run away," he questioned.

I just stood there silent. "Go on," I said giving up.

"Look, I'm sorry. For everything. I irritated you, bugged you, and asked things of you. And when you wanted to give me a chance, I turned it down. I was dumb. Truth is I was scared." He said.

"Scared?" I interrupted.

"Yes Tessa, I care for you. And that terrified me. I don't know why. But I can't fight it," he said with a smile.

"Why would you care for a freak like me?" I said looking down.

He lifted my chin. "Because you're more beautiful than you think. Inside and out. I can tell. Like I've told you before, you are not a freak. Opposite of it. But I'm done with them," he finished.

I tore my head out of his hand, and looked away. "And why should I trust you?" I finally spoke.

"Because I care for you. And it was a stupid mistake. I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted to tell you that I am sincerely sorry. I will always be here for you when you need me. Friends or not." He explained.

I just looked into his eyes. After a second, I decided that he was sincere. "You're forgiven," I said.

"Really," he asked surprised.

I sighed. I questioned my decision. Was it really the right thing to do, forgiving him? Then I thought back. He was never the one of the people harassing me. He was there for me when I needed him. Nathan comforted me. "Yes you are forgiven Nathan," I said after deliberating.

He smiled, "So are we friends?"

"I'm not the person you want to be friends with," I answered.

"And yet I don't listen to you," he said.

"Nathan, please listen to me this once," I said. "Trouble comes my way where ever I turn. Left and right. I've learned to keep to myself," I said.

"So are you saying you don't want to be friends," Nathan asked with a frown.

Why was this so hard? My brain told me to just tell him no, I don't want to be friends. But my heart said, take a chance on him.

I followed my heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Fine, we can be friends," I finally said. I couldn't believe I was doing this. But Nathan was different for my oppressors.

Then, to my surprise, Nathan hugged me. I just stood there as stiff as a wood plank. After a second, he let go. He was smiling from ear to ear. Boy was he happy!

It was soundless for awhile until Nathan asked to give me a ride home. "No, I'm fine walking," I responded.

With out waiting for him to retort I carried on home. Then I heard Nathan running up behind me. "Let me walk you home then," he said with a grin.

"I will be fine by myself," I answered.

"Please," he said.

I sighed, "Fine."

He walked me all the way to my doorstep. Barely any words were exchanged. "Thanks Nathan," I said before opening the door.

"Anytime friend," he said with a slight laugh. He then took off in a jog back to his jeep.

I closed a door with a sigh. I thought over what happened today. I pinched myself to make sure I was awake. Ow! Awake and conscious.

At dinner, my aunt cooked us up some lasagna. She sure liked to cook Italian food. "So made any friends yet?" asked my aunt with a tint of hope in her voice.

"No," I lied. I didn't feel like going into deep conversation tonight.

After helping my aunt clean up, I went up to my room, did my homework, and just thought the rest of the night. My thoughts wandered into all different directions.

That night, I had a dream. In that dream, Nathan was at my tree holding a bouquet of flowers. He had that smile plastered on his face when I entered the picture. _You look beautiful today,_ said Nathan. I just smiled.

He handed me the flowers without an explanation for them. I just kept on smiling. _I love your smile,_ he said. I giggled at this. Then I saw Nathan leaning in. Then I awoke to reality.

I ate my breakfast and headed to school earlier than I had before. Actually it was an hour earlier. I just needed to get out. My aunt was gone before I woke up so she didn't notice. I arrived at school with forty-five minutes to spare. So I decided to sit under my tree. This morning felt nice. A slight breeze whisked across my face. I sat there like a statue for about twenty minutes. I missed these kinds of moments. "Tessa?" I heard my name being pronounced.

There he was, the boy that was in my dreams last night. I smiled a bit. He finally approached me. "Why are you here so early," he questioned. I shrugged.

He positioned himself next to me. "So how was your morning," he said trying to start a conversation. I shrugged again.

"You know, now that we're friends, you have to actually talk to me," he said with a sigh.

"I told you I wasn't a good person to be friends with," I retorted.

"And I don't care," he said. I scoffed. He laughed silently. And I glared.

"So I am going to ask again, how was your morning?" he said.

"Uhgg, good, how was yours," I said annoyed.

"Eh, it was alright," he replied.

He continued on, "You know I went to your house to give you a ride. But you weren't there. I got worried."

"Well, I can walk myself to school. I'm a big girl," I said still annoyed.

He chuckled. People started to show up. "You can go," I said.

"What are you talking about?" He was puzzled.

"You don't have to be seen with me now. They're here. It's okay, really," I said sadly.

"Tessa, don't you understand. I don't care. I never did. I want to be your friend, no matter what anyone says. I would never hurt you like that. You are my friend," he said.

I just got up and walked away. "Where are you going?" he asked running after me.

"Bathroom," I yelled behind me. Why was Nathan so different? I wasn't ready to have a friend. I wasn't used to have someone be there for me. Somebody who cared. I forgot what it felt like. Truth was I didn't know _how_ to be a friend.

While occupying a stall, I heard the door open. It was two girls. They were conversing over clothes and boys. I decided to get out before they noticed me.

I couldn't take the vicious words that would descend from their mouths. It hurt too much. So I just shoved my way out of the bathroom. I never knew why I was so weak, I was just vulnerable.

I knew my bullies were immature and weren't comfortable in their own skin. So, they took it out defenseless losers like me. But they were praised for their job well done.

In homeroom, Nathan sat next to me and just stayed silent. Then history came, we had a pop quiz on a WWII battle. It wasn't that hard.

My other two morning classes were a bore.

At lunch, Nathan was at my tree standing there with the sun reflecting off his caramel colored hair. This reminded me of my reverie. But he had no flowers in hand. I was relieved.

I sat down with out taking my eyes of Nathan. I had to break this. Then I noticed that Nathan was still standing. He was just staring at me like I was just moments before. "You look beautiful today," he said and then almost looked shocked that he said it.

"Uhm, thanks," I said with my cheeks burning. Do friends compliment each other like that? I was puzzled.

"So how has your day been so far?" said Nathan trying to dismiss his previous remark.

"Like any other day," I said plainly.

"Okay," he said.

"And how was yours," I said trying to carry a conversation.

"Nothing special," he said.

There was an awkward silence for about ten minutes. Until the greened eyed boy broke it.

"Hey, would you like to hang out with me after school," he asked with a hint of hope in his eyes.

"Uhm, where?" I asked all unto sure.

"Well, I have my own personal get away that I like to escape to," answered Nathan.

"And you want me to come," I guessed.

"Yeah," he said with his brightening smile.

"I don't know," I said.

"Why not?" he asked with his smile disintegrating.

I couldn't answer that question. Why not? I was the one who wanted to take a chance on the boy that sat beside me. And I was trying to run away from it. I realized that I was scared of my choice. Scared that I made the wrong choice. Scared that I would get hurt in the end of it all. These fears always haunted me. I couldn't make the voices in my head disappear. All I could hear was my mind and heart. One told me to give up on this foolish dream. And the other said continue on the path that I have started to journey on.

"I guess we could hang out," I finally said.

"Great," he exclaimed. "Meet me in the parking lot after school," he said while getting up.

A part of me always regretted my decisions. And another part always rooted me on. I can never erase my past. The hurt will always be like a tattoo. It was a permanent part of who I am. It couldn't be removed. This is what holds me back in my life.

I was a young girl locked up with no sunlight. Believing that one day, I would see the rays of light. Believing the darkness would dissolve. Asking, where is the sun? Hoping that, that day would come.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I waited at his car a little impatient. I was a bit curious in where this escape spot was. I was waiting for about five minutes until Nathan exited the doors. He had that smile I last saw on him when he arrived to me.

"Ready to go," he asked already making his way to his car.

"I guess," I responded following his lead.

He opened the passenger door for me first. I said thank you and he made his way to the driver's side. As soon as the car came alive, music started to play. I stayed quiet most of the ride. I took in the scenery, noticing more trees appeared. One by one, they aligned. Multiplying each mile we traveled. After fifteen minutes, the car came to a halt. I was confused because we stopped in front of a wooded area.

"Why are we here?" I said as curiosity took over.

"I told you we were going to my spot," he answered with a grin.

How was a forest his spot? I thought he was taking me to a beach even though we weren't located near any beaches. In the midst of my confusion, Nathan started to venture into the tree covered land. I soon followed after.

"How far are we walking," I asked hoping over a log.

"About two miles, if you want I can carry you on my back," he said.

"Uhm, no thanks," I responded. Nathan led me up hills and down them. I saw many little creatures frolicking in their habitat. It was nice.

"We're here," said Nathan after about twenty minutes of walking.

I was speechless at what I saw. There, in this densely tree populated area, was a magnificent site. There was this slow stream running through the scene. The sun rays lay over top of it icing it with light. In front of the water source there was this big rock. It was a little smaller than a small car. Around the outside of the rock were lush patches of green grass. Flowers blossomed around. It was a tranquil place.

"Wow," I said not able to say anything else. It was truly amazing.

"I know," Nathan slightly chuckled.

Nathan escorted me to the rock and helped me on it. He then hoisted himself up next to me. I just stared around me. Amazed. "How'd you find this place," I asked.

"My father and I like to hike," he said. "One day I wandered off for a few minutes, and I found this spot."

I just nodded. I was still stunned at he beauty this forest had concealed in it. "So, Tessa," said Nathan. "Tell me about yourself?"

"Uhm, there's nothing to tell." I said plainly.

"Well, why did move to Vineland?" he asked trying to reel out information.

"I moved in with my aunt," I said.

Nathan didn't pry. I decided to ask my own question, "How long have you lived in Vineland?' I said.

"All my life," he retorted.

I nodded. "So where did you use to live?" he asked.

"I used to live in Illinois," I said.

"And how was life their?" he questioned.

How was I supposed to react that? Oh, my life was hell. My father was an alcoholic. He abused me, never giving a damn to my tears. Or how he cared more about getting wasted and getting ready to hit me instead of showing his love for his daughter?

"Oh fine," I lied through my teeth. I felt a single tear fall from my eye remembering my past. Then I felt Nathan's soft skin wipe it away. I failed at hiding that tear.

I think he could see my life was as fine as I had stated. There was an awkward silence for a great deal of time. "So what do you think of my little get away," he said trying to pick the conversation back up.

"It's beautiful and amazing," I said smiling through my sadness.

"I know it reminds me of you," Nathan put out there.

I just stared at him. I didn't know what to say so I just smiled.

"You have a beautiful smile," he said complimenting me more. This comment reminded me of my dream. I wasn't used to this kind of treatment.

"You really don't have to lie," I said.

"Tessa, I'm not lying," he said, and by the look in his eyes I could tell that he was speaking the truth.

I just sighed. Time passed as we sat on the rock. Nathan helped me down the rock and we made our way back to his jeep.

Only a few minutes into our journey back my foot go caught in between two logs. My foot throbbed with pain. I groaned. Nathan didn't waste a breath. He was at my side in seconds. He helped me up, but as soon as I got onto both feet I fell down again. He grabbed my hand to pull me back up again. For a few seconds, he stared into my hazel eyes with that smile on his lips. My left foot ached too much to put pressure on it. I couldn't walk on it.

Nathan saw this. Without a word he lifted me onto his back. I told him I could walk, but he refused to allow that.

Soon we were at his car. He assisted me into the car and buckled my seatbelt. He drove me home. He carried me to my door. "Thanks for a nice afternoon," I said leaning on him for support. Nathan didn't say anything. He was in deep concentration on my eyes. He seemed in another world. Soon he snapped out of it.

"Oh, anytime," he said. I tried to hop to the door but almost fell in the process. But before I could hit the ground, Nathan caught me.

"Thank you," I said giggling.

"You are a clumsy one," he said chuckling.

"See you tomorrow," I said steadily entering the house. I waved him off before closing the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

My aunt helped me wrap my foot in gauze. I lied saying I fell on my way home. She thought it was the truth.

The next morning, Wednesday, my foot throbbed with more pain. I tried to walk numerous times. All attempts failed. My aunt permitted me to stay home. I didn't feel like arguing today. I sat in my bed the whole day. I read _The Count Of Monte Cristo_ to try to vanquish my boredom.

I slept for about two hours until I was awakened by a knock at the door. I wobbled my way to the door. I opened to see my only friend.

"There you are," he said with a laugh.

I just stood there leaning on the coat rack for support. "Foot didn't get any better," he said staring at my bandaged foot. I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Well, I brought you your assignments from today," he said trying to get me to speak.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Are you alright," he asked with a concerned look.

To be honest, I wasn't, most of the day I spent thinking of my past. I just couldn't let it go. It was my own personal demon.

I nodded my head. "I can tell your lying," said Nathan.

I just looked at him with the most stunned look. "What?" I asked.

"You're not alright. I can tell," he stated.

"You don't know that," I said a little angry.

"I can tell by the look in your eyes. You have had that look locked in your eyes ever since I first saw you," responded Nathan.

I just looked down. My pain showed more easily than I thought. I continued to look down hoping he would go away.

He, then, lifted my chin so I could look at him. He just stared at me trying to unravel my secrets. We stood like that for about half a minute. Then, the phone rang. "I should get that," I said starting to hop away. He then grabbed my hand and helped stable my hop.

I didn't look at him. I finally reached the phone. It was Aunt Kristy. She told me she was coming home early and wanted to know what topping I liked on pizza. I said cheese was fine. We said our farewells and hung up.

I turned back to Nathan who was still standing there.

"Thanks for my books," I said softly.

He returned with, "My pleasure." He didn't move for a minute. He was about to move when all of sudden he kissed my cheek.

He then got out of the house in a hurry. I just touched my cheek. I could feel my cheeks warming from the blush forming. I was smiling as well.

Did Nathan just do that? What does this mean?

Like usual, I was utterly confused.

I soon got out of my state of shock and started on my work.

My aunt brought home pizza pie and we enjoyed four slices each. That night I had a dream.

In the dream, I was running away. Running away from a man. That man was my father. He was chasing me, getting closer and closer. In one hand he had a bat and in the other he had a beer bottle. And all of a sudden I just gave up running. _That's a good girl,_ laughed my father evilly. He took one more sip of beer, and then raised the bat.

I woke out of my alternate reality. I just sat on my bed. I was panting. I couldn't slow my breath. I felt tears escaping my eyes. I couldn't stop them from running down my cheeks.

I got ready for school with water streaming. My foot only hurt slightly. So I unwrapped it and laced my shoe up. As I was ready to leave, there was knocking at the door. It was Nathan. Why didn't I leave earlier? I just looked down trying to hide my emotions.

I just looked down still thinking about my dream. "I came to give you a ride," he said sounding tired. I didn't say anything. "Tessa?" he asked concerned.

"Let's go," I muttered. I was then pulled back.

"What's wrong?" he asked staring at my face. The tears just kept falling one by one.

I just stood there. Not knowing what to say. Not knowing how to stop the tears. "Tessa?" he said again. He tried to hug me but the dream reminded me of the way my father touched me sometimes.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled.

He looked at me shocked. He tried again to hug me. "I said don't touch me!" I yelled again.

I just ran past him. Running to school. I didn't look behind me to see if he was following me.

I finally reached school. The tears didn't stop. I just put my hood up to hide my face. I ran to the bathroom. I kept telling myself it was just a dream. Soon, I calmed down. I wiped my last tear away and walked into homeroom. Everyone stared at me. My hood was still up hiding my tear stained cheeks.

Nathan was in there. I didn't look at him. I just stared blankly ahead of me. I felt numb. That dream reminded me of my misery. It helped diminish any sense of happiness I had.

My classes passed me by. I walked to my tree expecting Nathan. My expectations were correct. He looked at me with sadness.

"Tessa," he started.

But I interrupted, "Nathan, I can't do this anymore. I thought I could be your friend, but I can't. I'm sorry" I finished and started to walk away.

Nathan caught my arm and pulled me back. He didn't say anything he just stared. "I'm sorry, Nathan. But I can't," I said looking down waiting him to release me. Instead, he lifted my chin. He focused on my eyes. Nothing else. And I looked in his.

Then I saw him leaning in. And before I could speak, his lips were on mine.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

I was the first to pull back. I just stared at him with awe. He stared back with a small smile.

I couldn't be there anymore. I just sprinted out if his sight. The rest of school passed quickly and I avoided Nathan at best to my ability.

When I got home, I thought of the kiss. My first kiss.

Questions ran through my head. Why did he kiss me? In the midst of my bewilderment, there was a rapid knock on the door. I looked out the window. Before I saw the visitor, I saw his blue jeep.

I didn't answer the door. I acted as if there wasn't anyone in the house. "Tessa, I know you're in there," Nathan announced from the other side of the door. I didn't respond.

I finally, after ten minutes, heard the roar of his jeep. I watch him descend from my house and continue down the road. I sighed in relief.

My questions came back. Am I dreaming? As soon as I ruled that out, I wondered more about why Nathan kissed me. Was it to shut me up? Was it to make me stay? Was it a mistake?

I was confused of how I felt about the kiss itself.

My thoughts were disrupted by the door slam. I looked up to see my aunt. We enjoyed her delicious macaroni 'n cheese for dinner and talked a bit.

I headed up to my room at about eight o'clock. As I thought more deeply, I was puzzled.

No boy had ever come onto me like this. No boy, or person, has ever treated me like Nathan does. No one has cared for me this way, except for my mother. At moments, he makes me think twice about my view on life. He's caring and my friend. I decided I had to talk to him.

The next morning, I dressed and got ready for school. After finishing up my toast, I heard bangs on the door. I knew who it was without looking out the window.

I opened the door slowly with my head hung low. "Hi," he said.

"Hello," I replied softly.

I just walked out of the house without another word. I waited for Nathan to catch up. He opened the passenger door, like a gentleman. I smiled a bit at this gesture.

We arrived at school moments after. No one spoke a word the whole ride there or in homeroom. I knew that we would have time at lunch.

I waited at the tree. Nathan arrived soon enough. There was an awkward silence until he spoke, "Tessa, I'm sorry."

"For?" I said.

"Kissing you," he stated simply.

So it was a mistake. He didn't want it to happen. My thoughts stopped as he continued.

"My feeling got in the way," he added.

"Feelings?" I questioned.

"Tessa, can't you see," he said. Before continuing, he stepped closer to me. I then felt his cool finger on my cheek as he tucked a strand of my light brown hair behind my ear. I continued to look down. "Tessa, my feelings for you have grown," he finished.

I just stared at him. "Why," was all I could say.

"Because you amaze me. I think about you all night and day. You are never out of my head," he explained.

My mouth opened to speak but no words came out. I just looked up at him. He wasn't joking. The kiss did meant something to him. But did it mean something to me?


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Nathan," I said but I couldn't finish the sentence. I couldn't find the right words to say. To be honest, I didn't know what to say.

I just looked away. How was I supposed to feel about it? I was never put in this situation. I took a deep breath and just stood there.

"Nathan, you don't have to lie to yourself. The kiss was a mistake. You dint have to make me feel good or spare my feelings. I will be fine," I finished. I just had to believe this.

"You think I am lying," he asked with a frown.

"Yes," I said.

Then, I just took off in a hurry. I then went to my locker to prepare for my only lesson I had with my friend.

Nathan took a seat next to me. A few minute into class, I felt a small weightless object hit me. Nathan looked back at me and the note he passed me. I opened it willingly. It read, _Why don't you believe me?_

I replied with _Because.._

He was waiting for more. But that was all he got. Because.

The rest of the day was Nathan free. I needed that.

I walked home without delay. I didn't see a sign of Nathan or his jeep. I just needed time to myself.

I skipped dinner that night and went to bed in the early hours of the night.

The next thing I knew I was awake. But it was still dark out. Then I heard the disturbance that woke me. There was a soft tapping at my window.

I walked over to my window to see what was causing this ruckus. Only through the cars headlights, could I see my night visitor. It was none other than Nathan.

He was softly yelling my name while continuing to throw pebble at my window. "Tessa!" he repeated.

I finally unlocked my window and revealed my presence. I could see his smile gleaming. "I need to talk to you," he said in the same tone.

I decided to go to him and see what he wanted. As soon as I opened my front door, he was there waiting for me. "What do you want?" I asked with aggravation.

"Did I wake you?" he asked. I nodded. "Sorry, I just needed to talk to you," he continued.

"About, and this couldn't wait?" I said confused.

"About how I am telling the truth. And I wanted to tell you tonight. It couldn't wait," he clarified

"Nathan," I said ready to protest.

"No, please listen," he said. I didn't interrupt again.

"Every time I see you, I smile. My heart races to an extreme rate. My soul feels glad with your presence around me. When I see you smile, it lightens my day. Your beauty captures my every thought. Your name rings in my head every second of the day. I have never felt this way about somebody. You take my breath away!" he finished breathless.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But I knew Nathan was being honest. I didn't know how to retaliate. "Do you believe me now," he said with anticipation.

I just shrugged still not knowing what to say. "Well, believe it. I'm falling for you, Tessa Bronson," he said reassuring.

Falling for me? Why would this beauty in front of me fall for a pathetic girl like myself? This wasn't right. It didn't make sense. Was this a joke? Or were these real emotions he was showing?

I knew Nathan was being straightforward and not deceitful whether it made sense or not. My views were cut short by a kiss on the cheek from Nathan. And with that he drove his way home.

I just touched my cheek. I didn't know how to feel. I just closed the door and tip-toed back to my room in silent movements.

That night I slept dreamlessly.

The next morning, Saturday, I just thought to wide ranges. Why didn't I let myself be happy? I could never come to a solution for this question. I guess the pain I lived through were sandbags attached to me. Dragging me down. Slowing me down. Always there. Why couldn't I cut them loose? I knew I would never have the power to do this. But I just had to be stronger. Stronger than my weakness.

Then, I thought, how did I feel about Nathan. I couldn't find an answer to this. I tired to search in my soul. But I was just confused. I knew Nathan's feeling towards me, even though unbelievable. But I didn't know my own. I figured that this was the result of feeling that I was the kind of person people just ignored. I was the prey in the hunt of my predators. But Nathan wasn't involved with this. I had to remember that.

I thought over how I felt and reacted when Nathan was near me. A smile always seemed to pry itself upon my fragile, pale face. And he did the same. I thought about him more than I would wish. But none of this really seemed to help. I just sighed in frustration.

I had all weekend to think this through, but by Monday morning I was just as confused as I was on Saturday.

All I knew was that I felt something for Nathan. Whether friendship or on a higher level.

Nathan knocked on my door. He drove me to school without a word out of his mouth. He looked as if he was engulfed in his thoughts.

Soon enough, Nathan opened my door and escorted me out the car. Before I went to homeroom, Nathan pulled me into a hug. I always seemed to be surprised by his actions. But this time I was even more stunned than previous times. I felt this weird sensation run through my body. It was like a long lasting jolt. I became wide eyed. I never felt anything like it. When he released me, he kissed my cheek, which sent another electric type feeling through my veins. Why was this happening? Did Nathan feel this?

As soon as lunch came, I rushed to the tree. I smiled at the sight of him. I knew how I felt now. And I was about to share it with the green eyed boy.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

After greeting each other, I started telling my feelings. "Nathan, you have put out your feelings towards me. I would like to share mine this time." He nodded and I continued.

"Nathan I realized that I do have feeling for you. I smile when I catch a glimpse of you. I think about you constantly. You're the first one to ever really talk to me. I get this electric sensation when I touch you. I think I'm falling for you. But I don't know if I can be with you." I finished getting that last sentence out.

Before he could ask, I answered, "The reason is because. I am too afraid. My life has pain written all across it. I don't want to add to that pain. I am scarred with this pain. It controls my life. I just can't do it," I said tearing up with each word.

"Tessa, I would never hurt you. You know that," he said with a frown.

"I do," I said. "But my past just seems to paint a picture of my future. And I wish I could just pick up the paintbrush and create a new image. Sometimes, I feel like you give me that strength. But every time I want to give in I just get pulled back. My mind tells me one thing, and my heart tells me another. I just want to follow my heart," I finished while looking into his eyes.

"Tessa, if I asked you something would you answer it?" he asked.

"I guess," I said anticipating his question.

"What happened to cause all of this pain? You don't have to answer." he said.

I had a felling he was going to ask. Nathan has shared so much with me, I needed to share my story with him.

"It's ok. Well, I live with my aunt here in Vineland. You see my mother d-died.," I stuttered the word, "from cancer when I was twelve. She was my best friend. The only one who really understood me. I was so devastated when I found out. I kept to myself. My father loved my mother with all his heart. But he just couldn't keep it together when she left us. He turned to alcohol to heal his sorrows. He became a very heavy drinker and with that came a personality change. He started to," I stopped there I was crying heavily. I felt like I was reliving each moment. I couldn't get the words out without a stutter. "H-he started t-to," I paused again.

"He started to hit me and abuse me for about four years," I said finally opening my life story up. I just felt so comfortable with Nathan. I felt like I could share with him.

Whilst sobbing, Nathan pulled me into a hug. He kissed the top of my head. I cried into his chest from explaining my past. "Tessa, I'm so sorry," he said. "Tessa, I would never to anything to harm you. Please know that," he said.

"I'll try," I said.

We stood in silence as we held onto each other. Soon my tears evaporated from my eyes. "Thank you," I said to Nathan.

"For what," he said.

"Always being there when I needed someone. Always being there when I told you to leave. Always being there when I fell. Thank you Nathan Scott," I said with a weak smile.

"Anytime Tessa Bronson," he said with a grin.

The rest of the school day passed like a snap of a finger.

Nathan walked me to his car and started to drive me home, but he wasn't going I the right direction. "Where are you going?" I asked confused.

"Guess," he said.

As soon as we passed a few miles, I decoded the mystery. I saw that we were going to Nathan's lovely wooded spot.

When we arrived, I smiled remembering the beauty that this forest held.

Nathan took my hand and intertwined our fingers. I felt sort of uncomfortable by this. I just had to get used to it. Nathan led me to the picturesque scene. We sat on the rock while my hand was still connected to his.

"So how about we play five questions to get to know more about one another," he asked. I nodded.

"Okay, so what's your favorite color?" he asked.

"Green," I said without even thinking.

"And why is that?" he asked.

"It's the color of your eyes," I said embarrassed. "How about you," I quickly said.

"I don't really have a favorite, but if I were to pick one at the moment it would be red because of that blush forming on your cheeks," he laughed.

I giggled. "So do you want to travel at all in the future?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Well I want to travel around after college. I want to see the beauty of the world outside of Vineland, Ohio," he said.

I smiled. "Okay, so my third question is do you have a favorite book?" he said continuing with his game.

"_Romeo and Juliet_," I said.

"Sucker for Romance?" he said whilst chuckling.

"No I just love Shakespeare's writing," I clarified. "And what's your favorite book," I asked.

"I would have to go with Dr. Seuss's _Cat in the Hat_," he said jokingly.

"It's a classic," I responded. He laughed at that.

"Hope you don't mind me asking, but what was your mother like?" he asked.

I smiled at the image of her. "She was the most beautiful person I know. She was gorgeous. She had dark brown hair. She was caring and outgoing. Everyone loved her," I said with happy tears rolling down my cheeks. He wiped them away.

"You must take after her beauty," he commented.

I smiled. "So I have one more question," He said. I nodded permission for him to continue.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

_**A/N: I am thinking about adding another story to fanfic. This one may have a twilight themed plot with the mysticlk creatures and all I don't know yet. But if I were there would be no Bella or Edward. It would be my personal story. Tell me if you think I should I the reviews.**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Uhm," I hesitated. I just looked in his eyes and leaned in.

His lips collided on mine. The electric spark I felt before increased in voltage. This kiss was different then my first. This one was short but sweet. I could feel the passion. And this time I kissed back.

He was the first to pull away. My eyes stayed closed for a few seconds more. When they fluttered open, I saw Nathan with the happiest look on his face. "Wow," was all he said.

I stayed silent. "Ready to go," he said. I nodded.

When we arrived at my house, I just sat there. I was a bit stunned about the events that took place today. How did I become so brave? Where did I muster up the courage? What was my strength? I knew the answer to the last question. Nathan.

My thought stopped when I hear my door open. I forced a smile to my face. He then took my hand and walked me up to the door. We just stood there in a comfortable silence, just staring at the others presence. At that moment, I craved for one thing, another kiss. I just wanted to kiss him more and more with every moment that passed.

This was a strange part of me that I was just introduced to. After a few more glances at one another, Nathan leaned in. But his aim wasn't for my lips. His target was my frail cheek.

Before he could accomplish this, I turned my head so that my lips were there. Just as I did that, his lips smashed onto mine. He seemed surprised at first but eased into the kiss. I was shocked at my actions. My affection for Nathan got in the way. But it didn't bother me that much. This kiss was longer than the other two. I could feel the passion heat up with each second. I finally pulled away from what seemed like an eternity.

Nathan rested his forehead on mine. I just smiled. I never felt this happy. I just stared into Nathan's green eyes, which I loved. All my pain seemed to disappear at this moment. I could feel Nathan's warm breath on my face. I inhaled the scent. "Bye Nathan," I said.

"Goodbye Tess," He said.

I walked into the house. I did my homework. My aunt arrived home a half hour later. She had tear stained cheeks. I knew something was wrong.

She just looked at me with the gloomiest expression. I just ran up to her and hugged her. "What's wrong?" I said.

"Sit down with me," she said. I sat next to her on the sofa.

"I have been seeing someone for about three months now. I'm sorry I never brought him up," she paused.

"It's fine," I said.

"And well I have been feeling unwell lately and I decided to see a doctor and well I found out I was pregnant," she said with a single tear falling.

I caught one word that stuck out, "Was?" I said confused.

"Tessa, I had a miscarriage," she sad wiping away each tear. She explained that she was fine. But I continued to comfort her. "I'm sorry," I said.

"It's alright," she said. But I knew it would be awhile before that statement was true.

We just sat there and conversed. She asked about school. I asked about the man in her life. His name was Matt Withers. She really liked him. She asked again about friends. I decided to tell her about Nathan. I left out the kissing and the growing feelings I had for him. I just said plainly that he was a friend. She smiled at this. I was happy to make her feel better. I soon let out a yawn. I hugged her and told her goodnight.

I woke up on a lovely winter day. I breathed in the scent of the frozen water falling down like carefree children. The snow covered the ground. It was the first snowfall of the season.

The sidewalks, streets, and grass were hidden away by this white sheet. I watched as young children rushed outside whilst wearing their pajamas. They twirled cheerfully in the snow. I giggled to myself.

I got ready and awaited for Nathan's arrival. Finally, a sound came from the door. I opened the door and hugged Nathan. I followed him but stopped midway. I threw myself onto the front lawn and began to sway my arms and legs in a swaying motion back and forth. Nathan just started to laugh at my spontaneous action. Nathan soon joined me. We made two snow angles beside each other. After completing our artwork, we just stared at each other. I felt a snowflake hit my nose and I laughed. Nathan just gazed at me. "I love you," He said in the midst of my fun.

_**A/N: I have 2**__**nd**__** story idea in mind. It has vampires and love in it. It will be original. I'm excited about this new story and I think you guys will like it. Hope you like this chapter**__****_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Those three words rang in my head. I love you.

Nathan loved me? This seemed bizarre to me. I never thought any living soul would adore me to that extent.

Did I love him? I felt on top of the world with him. I felt free. I glanced at Nathan. He gazed at me. I sighed. My fun was over.

I stood up from the cold ground. I said nothing. When I wanted to say something, my mouth stayed frozen shut. I didn't know how to respond.

School was cancelled because of the fast falling snow.

He soon arose and came to my side. "Say something," he said almost pleading.

"I don't know what to say? Love?" I said with a shocked tone of voice.

"Yes, Tessa Bronson, I love you," he sad reassuring me.

"Are you sure?" I said still not believing it.

He laughed and just put a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Yes," he said. "I told you I was falling for you. Well, I fell in love," he said.

I sighed. "You don't have to say you love me," said Nathan.

"How did you know," I questioned still doubting.

"You brighten my day. When we are together, I feel like we are in our own little world. You are always in my head. When I see you hurt, it pains me. I want to be with you every second to comfort you. My heart belongs to you," he said

"I love you, too," finally realizing it.

"What?" he said with a happy expression.

"Nathan, I long for you when you are away. I want to stay in your arms, never letting go. You give me strength. You make me hope for the future. I never felt this way before. You take my every breath away. I love you Nathan Scott," I finished.

He looked at me with amazement. I stared into the green eyes that I loved so dearly. He pulled me into a passionate kiss. I smiled into it. I finally knew where my heart belonged.

We pulled apart both smiling uncontrollably. "Tess, will you be my girlfriend?" asked Nathan.

"Yes," I whispered.

He smiled. I had a boyfriend. Back in January I would have despised the thought. But now I am changed. I am happier. I am stronger. All thanks to Nathan.

We spent the rest of the day building snowmen and throwing snowballs at each other. Farewells were soon exchanged and quick goodbye pecks were given.

I closed the door. I sat on the sofa and took a nap. I was awakened by the phone ringing. "Hello," I asked.

"Is this Ms. Tessa Bronson," said the caller.

"Yes," I replied.

"Is your aunt Kristine Donald," he asked.

"Uhm Yes, why are you calling," I asked puzzled.

"Your aunt has been in a car accident," he said.

Tears started to trickle down my face. I said with my lips trembling with fear.

I cried harder fearing the worse. I soon hung the phone up without saying goodbye to the caller or retrieving further information. I needed to get to the hospital. But I didn't have a car.

I soon picked up the phone again. After five rings, a female voice answered the phone. "Hello," asked the female.

"Hi, is Nathan there?" I asked quickly.

She then yelled out the name of my boyfriend. Wow, boyfriend. I snapped out of that thought and concentrated on the reason I called.

"Hello?" asked Nathan.

"Nathan!" I exclaimed with tears pouring out.

"Tessa, what's wrong?" Nathan asked with apprehension.

"My aunt got into an accident. Can you take me to the hospital?" I said.

"Of course," he said. He told me he would be right here. I counted down every minute. Worry had taken over me. Worry for my aunt's health. After seven long minutes, I heard a honk, and I ran out to the blue jeep. Nathan then embraced me with a hug, trying to calm me down. He told me over and over again everything was going to be alright. This didn't ease me.

When we pulled up in the parking lot, I was ready to pounce out the car. But I stayed put until the car was at rest.

Nathan took my hand and held onto it. He led me inside. I rushed to the front desk and asked for my aunt. "Room 204," said the nurse. I ran through the halls scanning each number on every door. I soon reached my destination.

I busted in viewing my aunt with tubes coming out her body. She was pale and unconscious.

I wanted to know what was wrong. I wanted to know if she was going to be okay. I soon heard footsteps enter the door. I turned to see Nathan. He held out his arms and I raced into them.

The doctor soon arrived. He told me that my aunt was going to be fine. She had one broken arm and a fractured leg. They wanted to keep her for the next two nights.

I sat in a chair next to Aunt Kristy waiting for her to wake from her rest. After ten minutes, she did just that.

"Tessa," she said happily.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Not bad," she said.

My aunt explained that she was driving home through the blizzard when she drove over some black ice. She then recalled swerving off the road and colliding into a tree. I told her about her injuries. She thanked me for being here. After about ten more minutes, she noticed Nathan's presence in the room. "Who is this?" she asked.

"I'm Nathan," he said politely.

"Nice to finally meet you Nathan. I am Kristine," she stated.

She smiled at me. She soon yawned. I pleaded to stay at the hospital with her but she refused.

Nathan guided me to the car and drove me to my house. "Can you stay with me tonight?" I asked. I was afraid to be home alone.

"Of course," he said with a smile. He made sure his family was okay with him sleeping over my house. With the situation, they permitted him.

I changed into my pajamas. Nathan led me to my room and was about to leave until I stopped him. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"To sleep on the couch," he said.

"Can you sleep in my room on the floor?" urging for him to stay with me. He nodded with a smile. We decided to stay up for a little bit and talk whilst we rested on my bed.

"So I was thinking," he stated.

"About?" I asked curious.

"I want to take you out on a date this Friday," he said.

"I have never been on a date," I smiled at the idea.

"So is that a yes," he asked.

"Of course," I said with excitement. Then that died. I felt guilty being happy while my aunt was in the hospital alone, suffering. I sighed. "What's wrong," Nathan asked with concern.

"I'm still worried," I expressed.

"She's going to be fine. I promise you, now please get some rest." He begged.

I nodded. "I love you," Nathan said.

"I love you too," I said. He kissed my forehead and left the bed. I soon fell asleep with a smile plastered on my face.

_**A/N: Sorry for the lateness but I have been busy. I hope you like this chapter. Please review. Your opinions help me a lot. And please check out **__**Edward Luva For Lyf, **__**she has a new story called "Is This Love?" It is magnificent**_.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

The snow had melted away. It was Thursday when my aunt returned home. I explained to her that Nathan and I we were an item. She was ecstatic by the news.

Friday soon arrived, my first date. Nathan wouldn't give any hint as of where we were going. My aunt lent me one of her dresses since we both had the same size frame. The dress was beautiful. It was a white spaghetti strapped dress that ended right above my knee. My aunt instructed me on putting my make up on. I was never the one to get dolled up, but I wanted to try to look nice for him.

At seven o'clock, Nathan knocked on my door. I gave him a hug. My heart was beating with excitement. He took my hand. My heart beat picked up speed from the electric like sensation. He kept staring at me. "You look beautiful," he said. I blushed.

Nathan started on the course to the location of the mysterious date. I soon grew confused when he started to slow down in front of our high school. Then the car came to a halt.

He got out first and opened my door like the gentleman he was. I was bewildered and yet curious. "Why are we at school?" I asked not able to bite my tongue.

"Our date," he said with an enthusiastic look.

He took my hand and led the way. I was speechless at the sight before me.

Nathan had set up our date under my tree. A picnic was setup with three candles illuminating the scene. With the lighting, I could see rose petals surrounding the area.

"It's beautiful, Nathan," I whispered.

"You were my inspiration," He said. I responded with a giggle. He seized my hand again.

We sat down. All I could do was stare at Nathan. "What?" he asked confused.

"You're amazing. You didn't have to do all this," I said still astonished by the beauty of it all.

"I wanted to. I wanted it to be special," he said.

"Well it sure is special," I assured him.

We soon indulged on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After talking for about 10 minutes, Nathan pulled out a radio that he hid in the picnic basket. Music started to play from the machine. It was a slow paced song.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked with his hand extended to me. I nodded. I took his hand. He then pulled me closer to him. He placed his arms around my waist. I planted mine around his neck. I just stared into his emerald eyes. This felt like a dream. But it was my reality.

Near the end of the song, Nathan tilted his head closer to mine. His lips crept inch by inch to mine. I retaliated by finishing the distance. This kiss was passionate and long. I soon pulled away breathless. Nathan laughed.

A second song played. It was another leisurely song. We continued dancing. I rested my head on Nathan chest. He placed his chin on my head. After about a minute, I lifted my head and stared into in eyes.

At that moment, Nathan whispered in my ear, "I love you."

I giggled. I went to his ear and whispered, "I love you, too."

The song ended and we sat on the ground once again. I soon realized how cold I was. My teeth chattered slightly. Nathan caught this. He took off his jacket and placed it on my cold delicate body. I smiled at his gesture.

I then noticed Nathan relaxing on his back staring at the starry sky. I soon scooted next to him and copied his same position. He put his strong arms around me, giving me more warmth. I followed his gaze and peered into the black sky filled with bright lights. It was beautiful.

We got lost staring into the dim atmosphere. Nathan soon suggested that it was time to end the amazing night. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to freeze time and stay in this moment forever. But I knew that wasn't possible.

We arrived at my house at 10 o'clock. A smile took over my face from the memories of that night.

Nathan walked me to the front door. He took my hands into his. "So what did you think of tonight," he asked with wonder.

"Like I said before, you are amazing," I said. I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Tessa," He said.

"Goodnight Nathan, and thank you for a memorable night," I said with a cheeky smile.

"Anything for you," he said.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," he retorted.

The night was then ended with a quick kiss.

_**A/N: I'm going to end this story soon. I have a new story mind as I have mentioned before. I may even start a third. I don't know. So there are not that many chapters left in this story. **_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Weeks had passed since that magical night. I have had a smile glued to my face for the longest time period now. I was so happy.

But for some reason I felt that my happiness was soon going to come to a conclusion soon.

Kids still teased me at school. But I just brushed it off. Nathan had changed me for the better. I wasn't as vulnerable.

I woke up on a lovely March morning with a stuffy nose. After gobbling down my morning meal, I started to cough harshly. My throat burned from the cough. I rubbed it to try to ease the pain. Nathan drove me to school. He noticed, by my facial expression, that I wasn't feeling well.

April soon came without warning. My cold didn't recede.

One day after lunch, I felt feverish. The cough attacks got worse and more frequent. Exhaustion also started to overwhelm me. I soon started to heave blood.

I notified my aunt of my symptoms. She looked worried at first, but I told her that I should be restored of health soon.

I was wrong.

I felt a hundred percent worse the next few days. The coughs just kept coming, one by one. The fever remained. My body felt weak from fatigue.

More symptoms were added to the list. Some seemed to become more severe. I cried myself to sleep most nights from the pain. I had been absent from school this whole time

My aunt refused to let Nathan visit with my condition. Soon my aunt had enough of my pleading about no doctors. She scheduled an appointment .

Right before we left, I darted to the bathroom. I spit up blood.

As I walked into the local Vineland hospital, I noticed sharp pains coming from my chest with every breath I exhaled.

The doctor asked for my symptoms. I listed every last one that I had experienced. The look on the doctor's face didn't make me any less uneasy. After examining me and doing some test, my aunt and I returned home. The results weren't going to be in for another week. In the meantime, the doctor prescribed medicine to me which didn't help at all.

After a long agonizing week, I tapped my finger impatiently and anxiously on the lobby chair's arm rest. My aunt tried to soothe me with comforting words.

After about thirty minutes of waiting, the doctor returned with a grim look on his face. My faith seemed to crumble down with his features.

"Mrs. Bronson," said the doctor not relieving his look.

"Yes?" I said.

"We have run your test several times," said the doctor making me worried.

"And?" said my aunt and I in unison.

"I'm sorry to say that you have tested positive for tuberculosis," said the doctor.

"But it can cured right," I said with hope.

He looked down without answering. "I'm sorry, but it is now at the stage where it is terminal.

I couldn't believe my ears. "No, no, no," was all I said. I started to bawl. My aunt did the same as she held me tightly to her. The doctor said I only had about a month or so to live. I just let my tears flow. My life was ending just as soon as the darkness was disappearing.

But the thing that haunted me the most was the thought of leaving my aunt and Nathan. I wasn't ready to depart this life yet.

Somehow, my aunt and I managed to find our way home. I ran to my room without pause. I curled into a ball and sulked. I soon heard a knock at my door. My aunt entered. I continued to sob silently. "Honey," said my aunt said emotionless. I just ignored her. She tried to comfort me more, but when she tried to rub my back I moved away.

I heard the phone ring. I heard my aunt answer it with a sad tone. Then I heard my name escape her lips. At that point I knew it was Nathan. I cried even more at the thought of his name. Just as I found someone I could hang onto, I had to let go.

I continued to listen to the conversation between my aunt and Nathan. During the talk, she only said that I was asleep and couldn't come to the phone. I sighed happily. I didn't want Nathan knowing yet. But I had a feeling that Nathan wouldn't believe the lie my aunt told.

Soon midnight arrived; I just laid on my side with tears continuously streaming down my cheeks. I knew I wasn't going to sleep.

I soon heard a light tapping on my window. I slowly got up from bed and looked out my window.

There stood the boy I loved. He didn't have the smile I loved on his face. I hesitated on whether to answer the door.

By the time he threw the fourth pebble, I decided to see him.

I opened the door as soundlessly as I could. There before me stood my green eyed beauty. Tears didn't stop coming. I knew Nathan was suspicious and filled with concern. I just ran into his arms and shed tears. He stroked my hair not asking the reason for my infinite tears. I had missed Nathan's touch. I clung to him with all my strength. I hid my face in the crook of his neck. I took in his scent. After ten minutes, Nathan soon voiced his concern. "Tessa, please tell me what's wrong?"

I soon looked up to the stars. More tears escaped. Nathan wiped a few away with the brim of his finger. My head fell to the ground. I remained silent. "Tessa, please tell me," said Nathan.

I then looked into his emerald orbs. "I-I-I," I stuttered.

"You what," he said with a distressing look.

"I'm dying," I said crying at my words.

Nathan started to breathe heavy. "What no?" he said trying to erase the words I had just pronounced.

"I have tuberculosis, Nathan," I said.

"But that can be cured," he said

"Not this time," I said emotionless. "I only have about a month to live."

The truth started to hit me. My body started to shake.

"No," was all he said. I looked up into him.

He started to back away from me whilst repeating 'no'. Tears dripped down my face. I closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them, Nathan was running down the road.

I fell to my knees crying my eyes out. My sob must have disturbed my aunt's slumber because she knelt beside me and wrapped her warm arms around me.

My happiness had dissolved.

_**A/N: there are only going to be two more chapters left of this story. And please check out my new story 'Hero'. Thank you. **_


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N: This chapter will be in Nathan's point of view and so will the rest of the story. I have decided to extend it to 26 chapters. So two more left. And please if anyone's reading please review.**_

**Chapter 24**

Nathan's POV:

As she was explaining her condition, I felt my heart being ripped out. I was losing her. I couldn't bare it anymore. I took to my first instinct and ran, ran to my house. But I didn't go back to bed. I hit my wall. I threw a book that I was reading earlier. Then, I heard creaking footsteps in the hall. I knew I had awakened my mom.

"Honey, where have you been," asked my mother, her eyes filled with concern.

I didn't answer. I soon felt my mother embrace me. I concluded that she had seen the tears that were fighting to escape.

"Nathan, dear, what is wrong?" she said while still have her loving arms around me.

Previous from that time, I had shared with my mom about Tessa and my adoration for her.

"Tessa." I said.

"What about her?" she asked.

"She's dying," I said not able to contain my tears any longer.

My mother looked puzzled.

After about twenty minutes, I explained about the events that night.

"And you just ran off," she said with a displeasing tone.

I nodded.

"Nathan, do you know how she must feel right now? She frightened of losing her life. But now she probably worried about losing you. She needs you now more than ever," my mother said.

"But I can't lose her, mom," I said choking on my own words.

"I know Nathan, but right now you have to think about her, not you. She needs you, and you need to be there for her," my mother said sternly.

How could I have been so selfish? It probably broke Tessa's heart to see me run off. Why had I been so stupid?

I then grabbed my coat, kissed my mother on the cheek, and headed for my car.

I had to let Tessa know that she wasn't alone. She had to know that I would be her shoulder to lean on during this, even if I was hurting. This was for her, the girl that I loved with all my heart.

I soon pulled up to Tessa's house. I went to a tree right near Tessa's window. I started to climb it. As I came into view of the interior of the house, I saw her lying on her bed on her side. I knew she wasn't sleeping.

I soon mustered up the courage to knock on her window. I saw her stir at first. I knocked again. Her fragile body then started to rise. Her head then turned. Our eyes locked. Tears were running wildly down her face.

I then took action. Finding that the window was unlocked, I opened it myself and climbed through it with ease.

Tessa and I just stared at each other, no one saying a word. She continued to cry. It destroyed me to see her this way.

"I'm sorry," I said breaking the silence.

She looked away. "Tessa, I'm really sorry for running away like that. I was being selfish. I need to be here for you," I said.

She started to raise her head up. She met my eyes again. "It's ok," she said with hurt still in her eyes.

I sighed. "No it's not Tess, You needed me and I just ran away. I wasn't thinking," I said.

She started to smile. I knew I was forgiven.

She ran to my arms. It felt so nice to have her in my arms. I kissed the top of her hair. After ten minutes of standing there in comfortable silence. I then led her to her bed. "You should get some rest," I said.

She nodded in agreement. She looked exhausted. "Can you stay with me tonight," she said.

"Of course," I said.

I was about to lie on the floor when Tessa grabbed me. She scooted a little distance on her bed to make room for me. I was shocked by her actions. But I rested next to her and wrapped my arms around her body. I whispered, "I love you."

She yawned, "I love you too, Nathan."

Her eyes soon closed and she was in deep slumber.

I watched her sleep for about an hour. She looked like an angel. At that point, I couldn't picture my life without her. I knew that she was the love of my life. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my life. She was my soul mate. Plainly, she was the One.

I just broke down. I cried silently, letting all my pain seep out. My tears dripped from my face down to her arm. I just couldn't bare the thought of my life without this girl.

I soon drifted off to sleep. I woke up to Tessa staring at me. When she saw that I was awake, she brought her hand to my face.

"Good morning," she said lightly.

"Same to you," I said reaching her hand. I soon caught it. Our fingers intertwined. We stared into each other's eyes. Hers to my green ones, and mine were locked on her hazel eyes. I could get lost in them for eternity. I soon had the urge to kiss her. I then felt a pair of lips on mine. She knew me so well.

It was a short but sweet kiss.

She stroked my cheek. I then saw her turn her attention to a piece of paper sitting on her cupboard.

"What is that?" I said eyeing the object.

"Oh nothing," she said.

I then got up and marched over to it. When I picked it up, I saw a list of things. One thing listed took my attention. "What is this?" I said still staring at the paper.

Her cheeks flushed. "It's a list of things I want to do before I.." she paused and looked down. "Well you know," she said not able to say the words. A tear trickled down her cheek. I wiped it away. I then read the list allowed.

"One. Sleep under the stars. Two, cliff diving. And three," I paused. I didn't need to read it. She looked away embarrassed.

"I promise that you will get to do all of this," I said.

She looked surprised. "Even three," she whispered. And I nodded.


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N:**__ This chapter's ending is a bit mature. It will involve sexual tension. So if you are too young do not read. Thank you. _

**Chapter 25**

We just sat on my bed laughing, enjoying and enduring all the time we had left. Nathan had promised me to fulfill all the things listed on my bucket list. Even number three.

I was scared about two of the things I wanted to do on my list, cliff diving and number three.

A week had passed, and it was a Friday night. In that week, I had broken down many times. Nathan soothed me, but I knew deep down he was a wreck just like me. Nathan still hadn't taken care of anything I listed.

He came over that night dressed in a plaid shirt that brightened his emerald eyes.

"Why are you here?" I said with a smile.

"I'm here to fulfill my promise," he said smiling.

I had figured that it was number one, sleeping under the stars. I ran upstairs to get changed. I put on new clothes my aunt had paid for. Before retreating down stairs to Nathan, I ran to the bathroom to retch blood. The number of times I did that a day had increased. I felt more and more ill with each coming hour. I put myself together and went to see the boy I infatuated.

He took my hand and led me to his blue jeep. "So I'm guessing we are sleeping under the stars tonight?" I said curious.

"You guessed correctly," He said smiling.

I smiled. He drove for a little bit and stopped infront of a house. "Where are we?" I asked confused.

"My house," he said.

He led me to his front door and kissed me gently. "But why are we here?" I asked more confused then before.

"I want you to meet my family." He said.

He then opened the door. Inside, I saw a skinny woman in the kitchen preparing dinner. "Mom!" said Nathan.

The woman turned to face her son with an enlightened smile. "You must be Tessa," she said with her arms already around my body.

When she pulled away, I said, "Nice to meet you Mrs. Scott."

"Come sit at the table, dinner is all set," she stated.

"Oh, you didn't have to make dinner for me," I said surprised.

"It was my pleasure," she said with a smile. Her green eyes, like her son's, were filled with happiness.

I followed her into the dining area and sat at my place. Mr. Scott then joined us. We introduced ourselves to each other. I could see that Nathan had received his good looks from his father.

We conversed a bit and ate a delicious meal, home cooked by Nathan's mother. Nathan refused to let them feed me dessert.

We then bid farewell to Nathan's lovely parents. Nathan then took me to his backyard.

Beyond the gate, I saw a hammock that was tied onto two trees. I then saw a table next to the hammock. A bowl, candles, and a single rose were placed on the table. I gasped at the sight.

"It's beautiful," I said.

He smiled then took me over to the hammock.

He grabbed the rose off the table and presented it to me. "This is for you," he said.

I took it and rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek.

He then took the bowl off the table. He placed his body on the hammock and made room for a second person.

He patted the area and I soon occupied it. He then grabbed an object out of the bowl. It revealed to be a chocolate covered strawberry. I smiled with delight.

He fed the delicious treat to me and then kissed my lips tenderly. I then gazed up into the black sky. Stars twinkled in infinite spots. I snuggled up to Nathan. My mind got lost fishing in the dark heavens. I soon broke from my spell and glanced over to Nathan. I turned to see him staring at me. I could see tears on the brim of his eyes. I then looked away. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Tessa," he said.

I didn't say anything. I just thought for a minute. I didn't have much time left. I wanted to spend what was left with happiness and with Nathan.

"Nathan lets just cherish this moment," I stated almost pleading.

"Okay," he said his eyes still filled with sadness.

I turned my attention to the black portrait that was the sky. It looked as if a mere child had sprinkled tons of glitter over a black canvas. This image made me smile.

"Thank you," I said.

He just kissed the top of my head. After an hour of silence and getting lost in the black sea above, I could hear Nathan silently snoring. I laughed to myself. I just stared at him while he slumbered. I then softly took my hand and brought it to his lovely face. I then dragged my fingers across his cheek. I smiled. I then started to stroke his cheek. My hand was then captured by Nathan's. His eyes were now opened.

"Sorry," I said giggling silently.

Then he put his arms around my frame. We stared at each other's eyes.

A new set of tears were formed. He wiped them away.

"I'm so sorry Tessa," he said. His eyes then started to coat with water.

I sniffed and sighed. "Like I said before, let's just cherish now," I said finally.

He nodded. His head seemed to crawl closer and closer to mine with each second that passed. After about 5 seconds, his forehead touched mine. "I love you, Tessa," he said with passion.

"I love you, too, Nathan," I said smiling through my light shed of tears.

I then crashed my lips to Nathan's. This kiss was very long. We both pulled away at the same time. He then kissed my forehead once more. "Goodnight Tessa," he whispered.

I smiled and replied, "Goodnight, I love you."

"And I love you," he said closing his eyes.

I woke up the next morning still caged in Nathan's arms.

"Wake up sleepy head," I whispered in his ear.

His eyes fluttered open whilst he yawned. "Good morning beautiful," he said.

"Have any dreams last night?" I asked.

"I dreamt of you," he said.

I laughed silently. "Last night was great Nathan. Thank you again."

"Anything for you, my love," he said chuckling.

Mrs. Scott had prepared a lovely breakfast for us. I thanked her for her hospitality before I bid farewell to head home.

Nathan pulled up in front of my house. We sat in silence for a bit. I then kissed his lips quickly, "Goodbye Nathan," I said hopping out of the car.

Another week had passed. With each second ticking down, I cried more and more. I was terrified.

It was now the following Saturday morning. Nathan had planned the whole day for us. The main event of the day was number two on my list, cliff diving.

The reason I wanted to accomplish this was because I wanted to do something risky before I passed. I wanted to feel the adrenaline of the fall that was so highly praised of.

Nathan was hesitant about this. He asked me countless times if I really wanted to do it. My answer was always yes.

We reached the site at about one o'clock. I had to admit that I was a bit nervous and scared, but that did not stop me. Nathan and I decided to jump together. My hands were shaking a bit from my slight case of nerves.

Nathan looked at me with worry. "I'm fine," I smiled.

He then grabbed my hand. The next thing I knew was that I was plummeting down to water. The feeling was exuberant. I felt alive and free. After about fifteen seconds of free falling, we met the water. Nathan and I both hit the water simultaneously. I came up for air first and he soon followed. I swam over to him and kissed him tenderly. "Thank you for doing this with me," I said trying to catch my breath.

We swam to land and got dried off. After that magnificent adventure, we ate a local café. The adrenaline from the fall still hadn't worn off. I was uncontrollably smiling and laughing. I was glad I got to have the opportunity of this before my life was no more.

We spent the rest of the day at Nathan's lovely wooded spot.

I glanced at Nathan. Something seemed to be bothering him.

"Nathan, are you alright?" I said knowing he wasn't.

"You know I'm not," he said shaking his head.

"Please stay strong for me," I said.

He sighed but he understood.

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead.

I smiled.

An hour later, now midnight, I was back in my bed. I was still smiling at the thought of today and the adrenaline rush I experienced.

I then thought about what number three would be and feel like.

It was now Friday night. Nathan wanted tonight to be extra special. My bucket list was almost completed.

In the process of the week, my symptoms had increased. I knew my time was about to run out. I cried every night when no one was around.

I sighed when getting ready for my special evening. I was nervous and scared. I was so inexperienced.

Nathan picked me up at seven and we drove to a local hotel was nice and divine. I was growing more nervous with each step I took.

We soon retrieved a key for Room 601.

We walked slowly and steadily to the room. We reached it and Nathan unlocked the door. I soon saw the bed was covered with white rose petals. Soft music was playing. It was magical. My nerves grew to a new extent.

"Are you alright?" asked Nathan noticing my uneasiness.

"Just nervous," I said.

"Are you sure you want to do this," he voiced his concern.

"Of course. Why you don't?" I said looking down.

He lifted my chin so he could look me in the eye, "Of course."

I smiled and kissed him softly.

He then deepened the kiss. My arms went around his neck and we continued to kiss. We soon ended up in a heated make out session.

This was all so new to me, but I loved him.

He then parted our lips to guide me to the flower covered bed. He and I fell onto the bed. I then reconnected our lips. The make out began once more. I then felt his hands glide up my shirt. His touch sent electric waves up my body. They were so much stronger then all the other sensational feelings I had felt before. He then parted our lips again and stared into my eyes searching for permission to start. I nodded slightly and felt his hands pull of my shirt.

I responded with unbuttoning his shirt. I then attached our lips once again. His lips left mine. They traveled down my jaw then to my neck. He found my sweet spot and started to gently suck on it. A few moans escaped my mouth. He then continued down to my stomach.

After about ten more minutes, the night took its course. Before Nathan actually "started", he asked, "Are you ready?"

I responded with a smile, "Yes."

"I love you," he said.

My heart skipped a beat and I said, "I love you too."

I knew this wasn't just teenage lust, I was in love. He was my all.

He then entered me. It was a weird feeling. I was full of pleasure. I was scared of how much I actually like this kind of physical contact. I had truly found the one. I had let out a few moans, as did he.

It was a magical night.

I woke up that morning not a virgin. I was cradled in his arms. I smiled at him. Last night, I felt more alive than I had ever been. I was on top of the world. The adrenaline from cliff diving was something, but nothing compared to this. He woke up soon after and kissed me affectionately.

"I love you so much," I said smiling from ear to ear.

"And I love you with all my heart," he said.

We enjoyed a lovely gourmet breakfast. We then returned to my home. "I love you, Nathan and never forget that."

"I won't," he said in a sad tone. He soon mustered up some cheerfulness and said, "And always know that I love you. And you are the love of my life," he said.

I kissed his lips tenderly and exited the car.

I got to my room and pulled out a notebook.

One week had passed. I was still gleaming from the previous week. My sickness had worsened to the point where some days it hurt so bad to get out of bed. I was heaving more and more. I was worn out. Nathan visited everyday.

It was Sunday morning. My aunt delivered a delightful breakfast to me that morning.

Nathan was coming to visit me at noon. After eating a few bites, I felt a little queasy. I rushed to the bathroom and bent down to the toilet to gag blood. I finished and stood up. A strong dizzy spell took over me. I leaned against the bathroom sink counter. My eye sight started to go blurry. My hand slipped off the counter and I lost my footing and fell to the floor. Blackness took over.

_**A/N: Only one more chapter left. I hope you like this chapter. Please review, and Chapter 26 will come out soon.**_


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Tears fled my eyes. I wasn't ready to be here. My eyes were concentrating on the carpeted ground. I felt a hand lay on my back. It was Kristy, Tessa's aunt. Her eyes were puffy and red.

Before us laid, Tessa. Her skin was of the porcelain color as she rested in a mahogany coffin. As I looked at it again, tears bursted out of me. I didn't want to be there, but I stayed locked in place for Kristy. She was hurting just as much as me.

My mind couldn't conclude that she was gone. My Tessa. I could hold her in my arms no longer. I couldn't see her bright smile that lightened my whole day. A piece of my heart and soul went missing when she died.

It was a small ceremony. Only very few family came and my parents. The service soon ended. The whole time period my eyes were fixated on her. She was so lifeless. Her cheeks didn't have the shade of red anymore. Tears of sadness and anger ran down my face. Why her? The thought echoed through my head.

Kristy's voice broke my train of thought. She directed me to a car. We traveled a distance to northern Ohio. We pulled into a small cemetery. The clouds smothered the sun. Here is where Tessa was buried with her mother right next to her.

They said a few words before ending the miserable event. We drove back to Vineland in silence. Tears filled my eyes and Kristy's.

As soon as the car pulled into town and stopped at the first red light, I sprinted out of the car. I couldn't take it anymore.

I sprinted until I reached my destination. A tree stood tall and mighty before me. Her tree. I stared at it and more tears flooded out of me. My knees fell to the ground and sulked. Why my Tessa? Why? Why? That was the question that incessantly clouded my head.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Tessa's aunt. I turned away immediately. "I know it hurts Nathan," she said softly.

I stayed silent. "I just wanted to thank you," she said with a light sniff.

I looked at her puzzled. "I wanted to thank you for everything you did for Tessa. You saved her," she said with a slight smile as the tears ran down her cheek.

"Saved her?" I asked. How did I save her? If I had saved her, she would be here with me right now.

"When she came here she was in a cloud of misery. You destroyed that cloud. Because of you, Tessa was happy," she said crying lightly.

Her name stung me as her aunt pronounced it. I winced a bit. "Before I go, Tessa wanted me to give you this," she whispered.

I turned to see her hand extended to me. Her hand held a white envelope. I grabbed it hesitantly. "Goodbye Nathan," she said and walked away.

I looked at the envelope. It had my name on it. I recognized Tessa's penmanship. I slowly ripped the seal.

I pulled out a thin lined paper.

_Dear Nathan, _

_If you are reading this, please don't cry. Nathan, you have done so much for me in this short year that I have known you. You have picked me up when I fell and loved me. There is so much that I owe you for. I wish I could be there today with you to hold your hand. I wish I could see your face just one more time. I wish I could see your warming green eyes and your adoring smile. But I can't. _

_When I first met you, there was just something about you that was different. When I pushed you away, you came right back to me. When I needed someone to hold, you were there to comfort me. You understood me, the true me. When my hazel eyes saw you everyday, I would just smile wide. When I was at my lowest point in life, you hoisted me back up. _

_For that, I want you to move on. Do not be miserable because of me. Love another like you did with me. I know it will not be hard for another to love you. _

_I am going to miss your eyes and your smile. I am going to miss you. My Nathan. _

_This poem is the written words of how I feel._

_**When tomorrow starts without me,  
and I'm not there to see,  
If the sun should rise and find your eyes  
All filled with tears for me:**_

I wish you wouldn't cry  
The way you did today,  
While thinking of the many things,  
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,  
As much as I love you,  
And each time that you think of me,  
I know you'll miss me too:

But when tomorrow starts without me,  
Please try to understand,  
That an angel came and called my name,  
And took me by the hand.

And said my place was ready,  
In heaven far above,  
And that I'd have to leave behind  
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,  
A tear fell from my eye  
For all my life, I'd always thought,  
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,  
So much left yet to do,  
It seemed almost impossible,  
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,  
The good ones and the bad,  
I thought of all the love we shared,  
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,  
Just even for a while,  
I'd say good-bye and kiss you  
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,  
That this could never be,  
For emptiness and memories,  
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,  
I might miss come tomorrow,  
I thought of you, and when I did,  
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,  
I felt so much at home.  
When God looked down and smiled at me  
From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity.  
And all I've promised you.  
Today your life on earth is past,  
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,  
But today will always last,  
And since each day's the same way  
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,  
So trusting and so true.  
Though there were times  
You did some things

You knew you shouldn't do.  
But you have been forgiven  
And now at last you're free.  
So won't you come and take my hand  
And share my life with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me,  
Don't think we're far apart,  
For every time you think of me,  
I'm right here, in your heart.

_Nathan, you are my heart, my soul, and my all__. __You completed me. You are the air that I breathe. And you are my shining sun. I love you, forever and always. _

_Love,_

_Your Tessa._

Tears clouded my vision. I stared up to the sky. I felt the wind whip across my face. My hair blew a little. The clouds then dispersed and the sun appeared down shining on me. A smile broke across my face.

A/N: this is the end. My first story is officially finished. I want to thank people who read this. It meant a lot. I have two more stories though so I will be continuing to write. Thank you again.

No copyright intended with the poem I used. It just fit it.


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